More Evidence for the Value of Give-and-Take

Lasting Relationships

John and Ann Betar of Fairfield, CT were recently named The Longest Married Couple for 2013. They have been married almost 81 years. They are humble people who don’t feel like they have done anything special and don’t like to give marriage advice. But when asked for their secret, their answer was no surprise: compromise and don’t hold a grudge.

Not coincidentally, the longest married couple for 2012 had the same answer: given and take and compromise. I say not coincidentally because the evidence for the value of give and take in lasting relationships, both anecdotal and scientific, is very strong.

You can read more about the value of give and take in lasting relationships in a recent article I wrote for

About Alan Strathman

Alan has spent 24 years as a professor of psychology at the University of Missouri. He is the founder of and contributes content regularly through blog posts and e-books that communicates the findings of psychological research on relationships. If you would like more information about Alan, please visit